8 month preg woman gets in bar fight....almost

[vernacular_life]

Went to see Matisyahu last night for what will undoubtedly be my last pre-baby live music experience. 

I went expecting to see a Hasicic Beatboxing Reggae artist. 
I did not expect to see a crowd surfing dwarf .
Neither did I expect to nearly get into a fight with an a-hole who tried to push me out of my 'viewing spot'.

Show was held at the oho-so-corporate Rams Head Live in downtown B'more, which kinda felt like the 930 club (alltime fav. venue) on steriods.  Most sightlines were good, there was a HUGE balcony with a 2nd balcony that had bleachers (too far back for my taste).  We got there about 1/2 way through the opening act (aka the Balkan Beat Box) and scoped out a spot on the 2nd floor.  Could kinda see, but figured people would move around a bit during the set break and I could position for a better view.

Balkan Beat Box finished.  A few minutes later, Judd notices an open spot a few feet away from us, and I move in.  Whee! perfect unrestricted view! 

About 10 minutes later, big oafish fratboy comes up and says "excuse me, but this is my spot, and you have to move"  The rest of the conversation went something like this:

me:  "um, I don't see a reservation card on the railing"
ass:  "I just walked away to get a beer.  I've been hanging out with this guy (points to guy on my right) all evening.  Yo, thanks for saving my spot...uh, whatever your name is"
other guy, who doesn't know the ass:  "uh, Carlos, um, thanks?"
(neither Carlos or Ass's girl made any attempt to 'hold' spot when ass was gone or say anything to me when I stood there.)
me:  "Well, your friends did a shitty job of holding your spot.  There's room for both of us here"
ass:  "Look, I'm not trying to be an ass--"
me:  "well, too late for that!"
ass:  "Listen Ma'am (!!!), have you seen the size of my ass?" (????)
me:  "Have you seen the size of my belly??"

he lookes at me and turns away, not knowing what to say.  I manage to keep about 1/2 of my body along the railing and have a 3/4 unrestricted view for the show.  Ass didn't really bother me the rest of the evening, but really didn't seem to be enjoying the show.   Judd was ready to go Old Skool Judd (as in 18 yr old punk show Judd) and start getting in the guys' face, but luckily he didn't hear most of the conversation.   I think I held my own pretty well. Yeah, I was a bit of a biatch, but whatever.

Now as a veteran of easily 100+ club shows, I know there's 'rules' -- if you're deep in the crowd, head out, you can get back in.  If your friends 'hold' your spot by stretching out or saying something to someone who steps in, you get back in.  But if you're on the fringe and leave and your friends don't hold your spot (and your spot is 3+ feet wide!!), you're SOL. If you leave during the set change, you're even more SOL.   If you're a big oafish guy, you usually let the 5'1 girls either in front or accomidate them a bit. 

Oho, and as for the crowd surfing dwarf?   Why kids these days still crowd surf is pretty much beyond me, but I will give originality points to the dwarf.  At least he stayed up for a few minutes, unlike the other kids who went down in about 15 seconds.

3 other 'trends' that made me feel realllllly old:
-2/3 of the crowd holding up their cell phones.  wtf? taking photos?  videos?  leaving a msg w/ the concert in the background?? Me no get it.
-the random kids that climbed up on the stage, screamed/danced, and then were lugged off by security
-SOOO many X-ed out hands, as in under 21's.



So how was the show? Great.  Really enjoyed it - he's definately an original act, but not in a novelty kind of way.  Coolest part was when he brought 2 old friends up on stage and they beatboxed/freestyled for a few minutes. (to which Judd commented that 'original' beatboxing was probably popular when they were 6)  He's much much better in person (or on his live CD) than any of his recent TV performaces indicate.  I think it took 2-3 songs for him to get in his groove.

Comments

[monkeysmama.livejournal.com]

That's so kickass!

btw - who says "have you seen the size of my ass"? WTF? Random!

[vernacular-life.livejournal.com]

I only wonder how much of a badass I'd have been if it was a year ago and I'd had a few Jack Daniels in me. Whoohoooooo!


I, too thought that was pretty odd for that guy to say. He was kinda big, but not THAT big. Kind of what I'd describe as 'husky' but not fat.

and I COULD have responded, "well, have you seen the size of MY ass?!" 'cause it certainly needs its own zip code these days :P

[monkeysmama.livejournal.com]

Word - my belly is pg with just one baby, but my arse seems to be having triplets.

[go-dawgs.livejournal.com]

Daaaaaang, girl. You got it going on ... and I can finally use this hilarious avatar I've been holding for a while. ;)

[vernacular-life.livejournal.com]

I'm sure I used the 'head swivel' when talking to The Ass. I think its a unconsious reflex :P