'anti bride' turns non-chalant mom....

[vernacular_life]

to all of those with kids..... (xp-posted to the wise women at sorta_hip_moms)

 

I have been in the earliest stages of thinking about what to buy (getting my own copy of baby bargins ASAP) and am massively overwhelmed by what my SIL, friends, co-workers, "the experts"  are saying that I 'have' to have.    My SIL literally freaked out when I mentioned that I was not planning on getting a 'travel system'

I look at all of the cute silk or leather (aka $$$$) diaper bags that everyone on April 2006 groups are oohing about and I  immediately think a) not stain proof, and b)not ergonomic.  I'm actually leaning towards a Mountainsmith pack, as I have quickly learned that anything designated  "for baby" is license to double the price for worried parents. 

Non-crib Baby funiture?  For us, it will  be reusing existing stuff (fresh coat of paint, maybe) or perhaps a new dresser from Ikea.  We have decided that even though they're supposedly comfy, we do not need an ugly $500 glider.  The rocking chair that I was rocked in as a baby will be perfect, esp with new cushions.

But then there's all of the unknowns:  cigarette-lighter bottle warmers, diaper genies, wipe warmers, crib 'aquariuim' lights, bouncy seats, kick-n-plays, swings, bouncers, (and I'm not even getting into $400 bedding sets that are mostly useless!!).   I know that some of these things are designed for saftey and to make parents life easier, but when I did a quick total of the amount of 'essentials' as called by BRU, it was several thousand dollars.  NO thanks. 



So, other than finding a friend who's pratical to guide me through, any advice?  Any not-obvious "non baby" items that you couldn't live without? 

Comments

[harri-cady.livejournal.com]

I have *no clue* but I look forward to others' responses.

[effy.livejournal.com]

Agreed.

[vernacular-life.livejournal.com]

hey, it's not drivel! its input!

one piece of advice that I got from someone was to return some of stuff that's for later-than-3-months before the baby comes (so you have store credit) then buy it when you need it. Some stores have a 3-month return policy.

A little 'skeevy' but practical!!

[banshee.livejournal.com]

You can ABSOLUTELY keep it simple. Here's my advice:

- Furniture is furniture. The important thing is whether or not it's flimsy or top-heavy (easily tipped over). Everything else is just personal preference.
- True, don't even worry about getting a 'diaper bag' per se. For the first couple of months I carried a cute orange messenger bag from Target as my purse/diaper bag/whatever. A large tote bag or purse works fine, too. After a while, I just carried a normal purse with enough room for an extra diaper and ziploc of wipes.
- Yes on the diaper genie, though. Much less stinky!
- Wipe warmers and giant swings and such are just extras. We went without.
- A little reclining seat is nice to have, actually. I could bring that in the bathroom for Owen to sit in while I took a shower.
- I never really use my rocking chair, even!

You'll do just fine. :)

[vernacular-life.livejournal.com]

thank you!

I'm sure I'll be fine - just a 12 week mini meltdown :)

[lkell.livejournal.com]

sounds like very sound advice. I have no kids so no "direct" experience ... but 98% of my social circle has kids. So I've done a million showers ... and you get spoiled. I TOTALLY agree wipe warmers are overboard as is the a $400 bedding set. Use your judgement & gut & follow your instincts for your registry ... becuase people will buy from it!

[jamiethetiger.livejournal.com]

That is a good point. The travel swing, or the bouncy have been lovely when I want to shower and still hear the kidlet. Plus, they are nice to take with you so you have a place to put the kid down whjen you go to someone's house or whatnot.

[tinksdust.livejournal.com]

I have a feeling I'll have the attitude you have if we ever have kids. I don't think I'll want all of the bells and whistles out there for babies and even kids these days. Ther are some things that I can see myself finding useful but I'm all for keeping it simple.

[jamiethetiger.livejournal.com]

What one person finds as "must have," another laughs about. It's so overwhelming.

Here is what I think you HAVE to have:

A place for the baby to sleep.
A car seat.
Diapers
Wipes
Boobs or the bottles you choose
A few blankets
some clothes


I think that's all you really have to have. Everything else after that is fluff, and is solely based on you, your baby, and your lifestyle.

Things I would really not want ot live without:

FOr me, my changing table rocks my world. It's a combo changer/dresser. We have wood floors, antique furniture and an overpacked house. I love having one place for it all and a soft but firm place to change Emma at the right height. Not all people need/want a changing table. I didn't want to get up and down from the floor that often and our furniture isn't suitable.

I also have a diaper champ. I love it almost as much as my changing table. Maybe more because I COULD change her elsewhere but those smelly dipes gotta go somewhere. I like the champ because you can use any trash bag and don't have to buy ones specific to it (like the genie). You certainly don't nee done of these, it's a convenience I heart.

I do sling Emma sometimes, but I find a stroller to be more convenient for trips to the mall, the store, etc. I got the Kolcraft universal infant seat carrier for use while she is in that seat. It rocks my world. Easy to use - just gragb the carrier, pop it in and go. HUGE, VERY accessible basket. My stroller is not as nice and I will be sad to move her to the stroller.

Onesies. When you are changing dipes 10-15 times a day, they are the easiest things to get into.

Every baby is different, so you don't know what they will like. As baby gets older, it's nice to have some things to keep their attention, safely, so you can walk away. But, you have friends, stick your kid in their toy, see what they like best. Buy stuff used.

I'll admit, some of it is really niuce to have. I love popping her in her exersaucer when I need 15 minutes where she is occupied and safe. You learn as you go, tho.

[go-dawgs.livejournal.com]

I don't have any words of wisdom, but I agree with you 100%. I look at my friends who are supposedly struggling financially spending buttloads of money on all of this stuff that I don't think is necessary, and it just irks me.

Anyway, love the new layout, too. :)

[vernacular-life.livejournal.com]

reading posts about $200 silk diaper bags with cheap looking straps irritates me as much as reading posts about $800 veils or long discussions about what kind of chair covers one needs at their reception.

STOP.The.MADNESS!

[go-dawgs.livejournal.com]

A.men.

[njlorelei.livejournal.com]

I don't have any kids of own but just from my recent babysitting experience I'd say this: If you plan on breastfeeding and going back to work a breast pump is probably needed. The woman I babysit for says its been a lifesaver for her.

Also I'd second this:
I also have a diaper champ. I love it almost as much as my changing table. Maybe more because I COULD change her elsewhere but those smelly dipes gotta go somewhere. I like the champ because you can use any trash bag and don't have to buy ones specific to it (like the genie). You certainly don't nee done of these, it's a convenience I heart.

If you're going to get a diaper disposal container the champ is more cost effective.

Good luck!

[onelargecat.livejournal.com]

This touches on one my pet peeves--when people assume that "having a baby" means CONSUMING MORE! Of course, that's the American way, isn't it. There's a commercial (maybe a year ago or so) where a couple buys a car, then a stork drops by, and suddenly they look at themselves, like, 'uh-oh,' so they return the sedan to the dealer and exchange it for an SUV. WTF? As if you can't fit a baby into a sedan. You've got to be kidding me. Of course, I realized the reason so many people think they have to buy SUVs when they have kids...it's because, as I discovered when attemping to buy a baby shower gift at Babies R Us, that strollers are mini-SUVs. There were ones by Jeep, with these crazy tires that looked like they could scale single-track mountain bike trails (except that the stroller were way too wide, of course, for any single-track trail).

Heh. Anyway. Good luck choosing anti-baby things. I hope it really is possible.

[vernacular-life.livejournal.com]

I remember that commercial!

I'm hoping to downsize my 1997 jetta to a Mini Cooper in the next few years.....everyone thinks I'm crazy! I think it can be done, esp after bebe is out of the rear-facing car seat (usually after 1 year)

Honestly, however, one of the reasons (and there were more than one!) that we bought the Toyota Highlander last year was that we were thinking kids (and hauling plants/garden stuff and the muddy dog!), as well as it's amazing saftey record. Long trips to visit family in a jetta with a dog and a baby and our stuff can be done, but its a bit cramped.

[onelargecat.livejournal.com]

That makes sense--I wasn't meaning to criticize you for *owning* an SUV...I just thought that commerical was the epitome of ridiculous.

[cesariohaines.livejournal.com]

My new favorite commercial is for ON STAR where they have kids looking into the camera, basically saying "If you loved us and want us to be safe, you'll buy a car with ON STAR in case of an emergency."

Way to play the guilt card! Drives me up a frickin' wall!

[vernacular-life.livejournal.com]

no offense taken, naturally! Now, if we'd had rushed out to buy 2 minivans with built in DVD player, that where I would have needed an intervention :)

[cesariohaines.livejournal.com]

We received a lot of the "baby stuff" from showers and family, but if I had to buy the stuff myself I would have had half the stuff. Trust me, you will get a lot of baby things from people, so if you think you might want/need something, register for it. If you get it, great...if not, that's fine as well!

Ellie "lurved" her swing...it was her napping spot for at least the first three months (it calmed her when nothing else would), and her bouncy seat was great for taking her from room to room.

If you have friends (or family) that have baby items, I highly recommend borrowing them for trial runs once the kid gets there. Like others said, some kids love swings...some hate them..ya just don't know what your gonna get!

[vernacular-life.livejournal.com]

I will hopefully luck out on the 'borrow to see' thing - a close coworker is due 6 months before me, and a very good friend's daughter will be almost 2 by the time Baby W is here.

Of course, brother and SIL have 'everything', just too bad they're in Texas!

[tray85.livejournal.com]

Things I couldn't live without:
Boppy
Swing (I have two)
Bouncy seat (so I can take a shower)
Pack & Play (I use the bassinet)
Diaper Champ (you CAN use a regular basket, but things start smelling pretty quickly)
Lightweight cheapo stroller (Graco metrolite)
Cotton waffle weave blankets that are large, stretchy and awesome for swaddling
White noise machine
Baby Einstein video
Cloth diapers (use for burp cloths)
Mirror for the car

Things I didn't need afterall:
Wipe warmer
Bjorn (can't get baby to like it)
A million cutesy newborn outfits
A dozen Avent bottles (turns out she doesn't like them!)
Little tiny bibs (useless)

Just a note about the Mini cooper. My friend had one and finally had to say goodbye to it after virtually throwing her back out climbing in the backseat to fetch her baby out of the car seat. I think she got a Volvo wagon instead.

Best of luck in the dizzying land of baby purchases!!

Oh & we got two simple diaper bags by Eddie Bauer. The small one is the one I take for short trips b/c the big one is too hard to lug around.

[tray85.livejournal.com]

How do you like the Highlander? I have a paid-off 2000 Camry and wanted to drive it until it died. But I have to admit, it IS hard to get the car seat in and out of my car...not to mention trying to fit a stroller and groceries in the trunk! I've been thinking about the Highlander.

[vernacular-life.livejournal.com]

we LOVE the highlander. I doesn't drive like a truck at all - more like a stationwagon. Very easy to get in and out of, and the back area is very big.

[vernacular-life.livejournal.com]

I'm hoping that by the time my Jetta dies, "baby" will be 5 or 6 and not need to be helped into a car seat!!